Buddha Man Cave!

He's so busy these days we hardly see him - but the golden headed movie reviewer is finally back!

Beyond the Grave


This is a wild and surreal indie flick with a mysterious and unnamed lawman (Rafael Tombini) in pursuit of a mysterious criminal called the Dark Rider across a post apocalyptic landscape. It’s a world much like ours, and yet very different – perhaps due to the fact that the seven gateways to Hell have opened up – nice nod to 7 Doors of Death there. In fact, there are scads of nods to other movies here – and the whole thing feels like an offshoot of Stephen King’s Dark Tower books. But don’t get the idea this is a ripoff or anything – no, this is a dark, moody, and original movie made by filmmakers steeped in fantasy and horror filmmaking. Consequently they don’t miss a chance to allude to other movies – this has moments that feel like flicks as far reaching as the Phantasm and Mad Max movies.

Things have most definitely taken a turn for the worse...

As it is a cinematic tone poem - with mood and mystery taking center seat - there’s not much else to say for a synopsis. The characters are fleshed out with a minimum of fuss by the cast; the effects and stylistic touches bely the film’s low budget; and the movie is well put together all around, from the crisp cinematography to the interesting locations. Kudos to writer/director Davi de Oliveira Pinheiro and thanks to producer Isidoro B. Guggiana for contacting me about viewing the movie. You have to be willing to stick with this one - there is a deliberate pace in the middle section, and the film is in Portuguese with English subtitles - but there are prime payoffs for those who enjoy movies that strive to be different and that succeed in keeping the mundane to a minimum. Recommended.

Spider Woman: Death Web

What the hell was that? A bargain DVD picked up for $1 somewhere yielded an astonishingly weird and not particularly entertaining foreign film of unknown origin. I couldn't even find this one on the IMDB. It's of Asian origin - that's as much as I know. I'm going to guess it was made in Thailand. Four friends set out to explore the jungle and try to solve the mystery surrounding a mysterious tribe who lives there. One of them gets captured and sort of possessed by the spider woman god who protects the tribe.

If she's a spider lady - is this "spinnydipping?"

After that a lot of nothing happens for what seems like hours and hours - then the movie starts to come back to life - with the young woman escaping a hospital with terrible CGI putting her torso on a giant spider body - then a while later the foursome battles the spider woman god in the form of a very large CGI spider. Very shortly after that the movie ends. It's pretty low grade, dubbed, and other than the last twenty minutes or so - pretty boring. Sure, the DVD only costs $1 - but how much is the hour and half this thing sucks from you worth?

















Thank you Mr. BM - until next post you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!