The April 2011 A - Z Blogging Challenge - A is for the Asylum!

A is for The Asylum!

So I was challenged to join this crazy April blog event - for the month of April a post every day except for the Sundays, spanning every letter in the alphabet. We start off where most people do in the alphabet I use - A!


They're a crazy bunch of movie people making a crazy bunch of movies, and here's one of them now, reviewed by that Beacon of Brevity - Buddha Man!

Mega Piranha  (The Asylum Home Entertainment, 2010)   The Asylum lets loose the inmates to bring us their latest sci-fi silliness, again starring an 80's pop princess - in this case Tiffany - and featuring support from another name actor - in this case Barry (Greg Brady) Williams himself - and surrounding them with a decent supporting cast, a serviceable production and lots and lots and lots of CGI. Our story this time? We start out on the Orinoco River in Venezuela, as the supered words at the bottom of the screen tell us three or four times. There, a strain of genetically modified piranha have chewed their way into an isolated river tributary. Then, thanks to the usual human stupidity, the mega piranha manage to escape and swim upstream, making their way towards Florida at the height of the tourist season, and dipping in to the "All You Can Eat" human buffet along the way.

Tiffany may not have brought out all
her glamour guns, but she is packing a
couple of pistols in this flick.

     Spring Break's only hope lies with Sarah Monroe (Tiffany) and special forces operative/spyguy Fitch (Paul Logan - who is on the Syuh-Fyuh channel enough that I think he legally owes them rent). While they work on stopping the fishy menace with the help of Secretary of State Bob Grady (Williams - get it? Bob Grady/Greg Brady?), the Mega Piranha are not resting on their laurels (or whatever those fins on bottom are called). They continue their trek to Florida, going toe to toe with the US Navy and eating a submarine and a couple of battleships. (Did I mention they've been growing all this time?) Finally they arrive in Florida, killing at least ten extras, one TV reporter, and mashing several beachfront hotels. As property values plummet, and torpedoes and depth charges fail to dent the really big beasties, Sarah and Fitch hatch their final ploy - and it's summed up best in two words: "Feeding Frenzy."


Bob Grady reminds his staff the movie's not in 3-D, so knock
it off with the red and blue!



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



I love the prop guy on this movie!
 That's a NERF gun painted black! 

  
 
 
 
Well, as promised, after finding Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus a tad lacking, I checked out this successive effort from the intrepid kids over at The Asylum - and sure enough, they pretty much got this one right. This flick starts off just as seriously as the previous one did - but not very far into it we start to realize the tongue and the cheek have met, and by the time the scientists reveal the MPs are doubling in size, strength, speed, and appetite every 36 hours, the tongue and the cheek are married and have three kids. As far as the acting goes: Tiffany is actually right on a par with Debbie Gibson acting wise - though Tiff also does contribute a song to the soundtrack here, giving her the edge in the contest; Paul Logan proves a satisfactory Lantern Jawed Hero ™; and it's always great to see a Brady anywhere these days - I just wish Barry Williams's scenes could have been a tiny bit bigger in scale as it smacks pretty hard of a lower end budget that the Secretary of State is never seen anywhere but tiny conference rooms and generic hallways. (Couldn't they have digitally inserted Williams into one public domain shot of Congress meeting or something?) But that's a quibble - this film is perfect fodder for a night of DIY MST3K-ing with some booze and some friends (in that order). The production is adequate, the effects better than expected for a movie with this budget and pedigree, and the actors all seem to be in on the joke. If you like your sci-fi on the silly side, definitely check this one out!
 
And of course, keep an eye out for the next in the series, Mega Shark vs Giant Crocosaurus, with Urkel and Star Trek: Voyager's Robert Picardo and the fourth in the series Mega Python vs Gatoroid with both Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.


There's also an offshoot video - a Mega Piranha workout DVD! See?



And one and two and one and two...

April Fool's!

 All right, even I'm done with me after that one! Til next we meet always remember...anything I might have forgotten. We'll make a good team that way.