Buddha Man off for the month of December - friends and family and Christmas, high on his list. We're stuck without a capsule reviewer, so it's audition time!
So far we've had Gary Busey, and Zombie Finger Puppet Guy.
And we're still looking. Let me dig down deep in these applications, pick out a really good one.
Oh! Okay! Him I've heard of! I used to watch this guy on TV after school - this could work!
Say hello to 1967 Animated Spider-Man! Okay, Spidey! Time to review a movie that came out 10 years after your show originally aired! Star Wars! Go!
Star Wars (20th Century Fox, 1977) I thought Star Wars was great, almost as good as shooting out a web randomly and having it always hit a building so you can keep on swinging. I thought Mark Hamill was terrific, almost as good as not having to stitch webbing onto your shirt. I thought Darth Vader was marvelous, almost as good as a Rogue's Gallery of 40 Villains with two voices between them. I thought R2-D2 was amazing, almost as good as the phrase "Walloping Websnappers!" I thought the music was fantastic, almost as good as my theme song. I thought the special effects were exciting, almost as good as having Ralph Bakshi take over your second season and drop some really good acid at the drawing table.
All right, thanks, 1967 Animated Spider-Man...hmmmm...lots of repeated stuff there...using the same phrases over and over...kind of like the swinging around scenes on your sh...
Uh, we'll get back to you!
Next!
Cross your fingers for us all, and while you're doing that, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!
Next!
The obvious asset here: In addition to reviews, he can do whatever a spider can. You know, like, sucking the life from unsuspecting prey and then discarding their dessicated corpses after he's extracted the value from them. So in many ways, he's like the production companies that exploit people-who-should-know-better for surreality TV programs. Perfect! He's already found his place in the field!
ReplyDelete