Before the Camera:
Glen Carson (Ninja 8: Warriors of Fire)
Joff Houston (Ninja Phantom Heroes)
John Wilford (Death Code: Ninja)
Jonathan Isgar (Ninja: American Warrior)
Actually, all of the above guys are in all of the above movies. Except that punk Wilford, who broke out on his own with that Death Code: Ninja movie...
Behind the Camera:
Directed by Tommy Cheng (Godfrey Ho)
Produced by Tomas Tang (Godfrey Ho)
Written by no one would take the
Legends tell of a movie producer who went mad in the 80's and shot about a million feet of film showing nothing but crazy ninja action. Ninjas fighting, ninjas battling, ninjas wrestling, ninjas tussling, ninjas killing, ninjas dying. Then he shot several "plot" sequences using about 6 actors and about 1 plot. He then disappeared into the mythical Editing Room of Mora Tau, and emerged a few months later with more ninja movies than anyone had ever seen, or would ever want to. (Except for me). His name? Godfrey Ho. (Well, of course!)
This is normally where I'd recount the plot. Except this time there isn't any. There's a couple of guys, and everybody else wants to kill them. Lucky thing they're both ninjas! Cue ninja action for 80 minutes. Roll credits.
Needless to say, I loved this movie.
|Here's a really terrible picture, but two things: it was literally the only photo from this movie available on the entire internet; and it does show the epic ninja umbrella battle!|
Sealing the deal for me is that this is ninja action of the "superhuman" variety. (Lesson #1: ninjas who obey the laws of nature and physics are BORING ninjas). You know you're in for a good time when in the first few minutes, the lead throws down a smoke bomb, there's an obvious cut, with a completely different cloud of smoke, and the hero is instantly in his ninja outfit, ready to fight. Later on, they run out of smoke bombs and the jump cut change is done right in front of your eyes, making it even more impressive. (And by more impressive I mean less impressive). These ninjas also can jump a few stories straight up; throw their costume so cloth flies out of their sleeve like a bad Las Vegas stage magician's 'neverending scarves' trick and wrap around a fleeing enemy's neck; make themselves into a see through apparition like Topper, and produce weaponry that must be coming from some mysterious 'ninja pocket dimension' they carry with them, because it would hurt too much to have this stuff hidden in any orifices.
So in the end, you may have no idea what's going on moment to moment, but in those moments you'll see ninjas doing neat stuff, lots of machine gun fire and explosions, a flamethrower, and at least one woman wandering around in a jungle wearing a micromini skirt. What more could anyone ask?
Let's Get Out of Here ?
At 14:58, after having their clocks cleaned, one of our dubbed bad guy voices flings out The Line to propose taking their timepieces elsewhere.
Eye Candy ?
There are at least two women in this movie, onscreen for at least 47 seconds. I think. Nope, no winners this time.
Buddha Man's Capsule Review
|Buddha Man says "Ninja Death Squad is Ho-key fun, by Godfrey!"|