Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I bet it was when people called him Dali...

Picasso Trigger  (Malibu Bay Films, 1988)

Before the Camera:

Steve Bond  (TV's General Hospital)
Dona Speir  (Savage Beach)
Hope Marie Carlton  (Hard Ticket to Hawaii)
Harold Diamond  (Rambo III)
John Aprea  (Caged Heat)
Roberta Vasquez  (Hard Hunted)
Rodrigo Obregón  (The Dallas Connection)
Bruce Penhall  (Enemy Gold)
Cynthia Brimhall  (Do or Die)
Richard LePore  (Seven - the Andy Sidaris movie, not David Fincher's)
Nicholas Georgiade  (Fit to Kill)
Kym Malin  (Joysticks)
Patty Duffek  (Hard Ticket to Hawaii)
Liv Lindeland  (The Yin and the Yang of Mr. Go)
Rustam Branaman  (Guns)
Wolf Larson  (90's TV Tarzan)
Guich Koock  (TV's Carter Country)
L.G. Abilene

Behind the Camera:

Directed by Andy Sidaris

Produced by Arlene Sidaris

Written by Andy Sidaris

    When I sat down to start this review, I was working on the jumping off point, and because Andy Sidaris is such an interesting filmmaker, I kept backing up in history to include more about him. Finally I realized I just need to do a Spotlight on the guy, and that way I can keep this review manageable in length. However, I may make references here that will be more fully covered in that post, so you might want to track that one down first...here's a link...go ahead, I'll wait...

This plane is in so many Malibu Bay movies it almost
deserves screen credit.
    Okay, glad you're back. Picasso Trigger becomes the third film in the golden chain of twelve flicks Andy made after his one offs Stacey (1973) and Seven (1979). (And Picasso Trigger manages to pull Seven in as another movie set in this unique universe - leaving only Stacey as the redheaded stepchild of the bunch. But then Malibu Express was pretty much a remake of Stacey anyway, so Stacey was more like a practice run.) The story here is as usual both simple and complicated - which is a truly difficult feat to pull off - but Andy managed it nearly every time he sat down with pen and yellow legal pad (his preferred way to write his movies, as he states in one of his behind the scenes features).     An international assassin named Salazar (Aprea), code name Picasso Trigger, is planning a major operation against the good guys, but in the opening moments of the film, he himself is shot dead in Paris, moments after donating a painting of a Picasso Trigger fish to a museum. How very ironic. His killer is revealed to be his doublecrossing partner Miguel Ortiz (Obregon), and then Ortiz gets a little kill crazy and starts knocking off spies working for The Agency, to revenge the death of his brother before the movie started. Agency bigwig L.G. Abilene (Koock) sends out his nephew Travis (Bond) - one of the famed Abilene boys - to head up a mission full of buxom Agency operatives to find out who's assassinating his spies, and Travis and his partners Donna (Speir) and Taryn (Carlton) are going to need some big weaponry (and the ladies additionally will be needing some lingerie and a couple of minutes to freshen up in the shower.) Luckily the Professor (LePore) from Seven drops by to get all Q Branch and hands off some great explosive tools for bad guy removal. From there we jet all about from Paris to Hawaii to Texas and back, keeping the action on high boil and the finger on the trigger...the Picasso Trigger...

"Power suits" and "work commute" take on a whole new meaning in
Andy Sidaris movies...

Just like the poster says - it's an Andy Sidaris movie - he writes and directs; his wife Arlene Sidaris produces - and with this third movie in the series they have the formula down to a science - gorgeous guys and gals running around and shooting large guns, getting into fights, and blowing something up every seven or eight minutes.

There is copious nudity, explosive boomerangs, love scenes, boat chases, shower scenes, and best of all - a crutch that contains quite a surprise thanks to the Professor! And it is completely awesome that Richard LePore drops in, as his engaging characterization from the previous movie hasn't dimmed a bit. I wish he could have been in more of the Big Twelve. Also, though it's not directly referenced - it sure seems like Guich Koock's Seven character Cowboy might have given up the nickname to become Agency Honcho L.G. Abilene, which also makes him uncle (father? really older brother? Doesn't matter - go with it) to the wide ranging Abilene boys. If that's not enough to entice you - how about a cast featuring seven Playboy Playmates? What about a stage show starring the quartet...er...duo... above?  If you've never seen an Andy Sidaris you really should check one out - if you have seen one you should certainly see another. Or another eleven.

How I wish I could have
seen this in a theater...

Let's Get Out of Here ?

At roughly around 40:00 Roberta Vazquez is tired of the Pinelog Inn.

Eye Candy ?

Oh my stars and garters yes! Where to begin?

Dona Speir
Roberta Vasquez

Hope Marie Carlton
I'll limit myself to four. Ladies! Welcome aboard!

Cynthia Brimhall

Buddha Man's Capsule Review

Buddha Man says "Picasso Trigger is locked and loaded...
with entertainment!"

You ain't just whistling Dixie there, Buddha old chum! And I'm going to whistle something to take us to the next post, and until then, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!


  1. Having the patience to sit through this movie must also be an art form!

  2. Oh, sorry, I must have wandered into the wrong blog...

  3. You gotta love those sequined and gold lame bikinis from the 80's. And Steve Bond! Holy Hell do I remember him! I was just going through a box of old teen magazines and there he was with Ralph Macchio, Matt Dillon, Meeno Peluce and Matt Latanzi. I think I was 12 when I bought this particular issue of Tiger Beat.

  4. Melissa - yeah, the costumer for these movies deserves a Big Commendation! I'm glad you like Steve Bond - he comes off well in this movie - but it was his one and only appearance in the series for whatever reason. And bless your heart for namechecking Meeno Peluce - one of the GREAT names in show business - along with his sister Soleil Moon Frye! Awesome!

  5. Oh my God do I remember Soleil 'Punky Brewster' Moon Frye. I did not realize that Meeno was her brother. Now that I think about it, it smacks right in the face on how I could not know that. LOL

  6. Sidaris movies are some of the few B flicks you can rely on. The man promised something and then actually delivered it. My hat is off to him.