Maniacal Movie Poster Monday #72!

Carry on Doctor  (The Rank Organisation, 1967)

Silly slapstick, sight gags, and puns as the Carry On gang take on the medical profession (again). I want to see all of these movies - only managed to see two so far.





The Final Terror  (Continental Pictures, 1983)

Look at that cast - all before they were stars - though it appears the producers might have been pushing Rachel Ward - notice her name sticking up a bit?

I saw this one on VHS a thousand years ago - don't remember being particularly impressed - mainly I remember the movie being murky and dark - but I'd like to see it again to make a final determination.






House of Horrors  (Universal Studios, 1946)

The next to last movie for Rondo Hatton, released after his death in early 1946. Poor ol' Rondo - born looking normal, his facial features eventually became malformed due to acromegaly. (I always took that story with a grain of salt, thinking maybe this was hyperbole from the studio publicity machine.) He pursued an acting career - but due to his looks was stuck playing hulking henchman and murderous monsters until his death at the age of 51. He was billed as "The Monster Who Needs No Makeup." Charming.

But I was wrong: here's Rondo as a
young man before the disease struck him.

Here's Rondo near the end of his life.

On the brighter side, Rondo does have a cadre of fans out there - and there's an annual genre awards show named after him in his honor - The Rondo Awards!

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Saturday Night at the Movies 6/9/12!

Who cares what picture we see?

More than any other time in the history of this blog department, I know for a fact Stefania Girolami does...so we'll go with this one...

Do you think the makers of Shark Attack 3: Megalodon saw this poster?

I first heard about this movie in 1982 when Uncle Bob Martin mentioned it in a Castle Fangor newsletter - which was a Fangoria subscriber bonus - slightly more up-to-the-minute news and thoughts from Uncle Bob - with little or no editorial interference from the publishers, as it was just some stuff he threw onto the wrap around mailing label cover. UB indicated that Universal had successfully gotten this movie yanked from movie screens for its similiarities to Jaws.

Ten years later, having forgotten about the movie, imagine my surprise when I found myself working for the daughter of the film's director Enzo G. Castellari! Her name is Stefania Girolami - and she was an assistant director at that time who hired me for several shows - expect her name to turn up in a lot of the upcoming I Was a Teenage Production Assistant posts!

But I was flabbergasted to find out she was the daughter of the director of this movie and other wild flicks like Inglorious Bastards (the original), Warriors of the Wastelands, Keoma, and 1990: The Bronx Warriors. She told me great stories about acting in this movie - called The Last Shark overseas, and Great White here - for the few days it played theaters - but she didn't have a copy that would play on American VCRs.

Finally, at long last, I have been provided a pretty good copy on DVD - and at long last I have captured the Great White into my video vault. It probably won't survive my long standing expectations - but we could be putting the movie to the test as soon as - tonight - should you decide to come visit!



Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Crazy Movie Weekend - Friday/Freddy: 30 Years of Dead Teens!

There have been three previous Crazy Movie Weekends - which consist of as many movies as my attendees and I can cram in to a weekend starting Friday night and ending Sunday afternoon whenever someone finally begs for mercy.





And now, Memorial Day Weekend 2012 - we did the extra long, four day Crazy Movie Weekend: Friday/Freddy - 30 Years of Dead Teens! Every Jason and Freddy movie from Friday the 13th (1980) through A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - however, we went out of chronological order to let the titans clash in Freddy vs Jason for our big finale.


We also kept a running bodycount competition going, which I dutifully recorded into photographs at the completion of every movie.



Best of all, I managed to call on a chum to send us off on this crazy mission in grand style - check out this audio clip I played before the start of the first movie...

Okay, how awesome was that? A horror icon - the Ultimate Final Girl - giving this Crazy Movie Weekend the most amazing introduction EVER!




After that it was movie after movie after movie...and the pictures started appearing...


Friday night we worked our way through -


Friday the 13th (1980) -

I like to include some of the foods we partake of in the background of some of the pix...and that's a very cool
Jason doll that Ray gave me - it even "ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma's" when you push his chest!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) -

Friday the 13th Part 2 -

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge -

We wrapped it up Friday night about 2:30am.




Saturday morning we kicked off with -


Friday the 13th Part 3 - (Not in 3-D as my movie buds nephew James and niece Sandra have a headache aversion to red/blue 3-D)

He didn't watch the movies. Well some of them, anyway.

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter -  (doubling up some Jason because of more movies)

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors -

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning -

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives! -

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master -

Obviously not plagued by nightmares...

And that sent us to bed Saturday night. It was after 2:00am.


Sunday morning - off we went again!





Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood -

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child -

More food fun - some tasty wings!

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan -

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare -

Now, the DVD for this one also includes the original ending sequence - which was in red/blue 3-D - and we did check this one out with the glasses on:

And it was actually really good 3-D - possibly better than it was in the theater in 1991!

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday -

Wes Craven's New Nightmare -

Which brought us to our ending for Sunday. Everybody was bushed, so it was our early evening just after 1:00am.



Monday morning - we started the final run:




Jason X -

Jason causes the destruction of a space station in this one - and the dialogue mentions
60 space marines aboard, but nothing else about the crew. I surmised 100 crew in addition
to those 60 space marines, giving ol' Hockey Mask a kill count of 181 for this one movie!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) -

Friday the 13th (2009) -

And lastly, the brawl for it all -


Freddy vs Jason -

This was meant to be a look of total surprise at the outcome. Instead I just look angry.
I have got to stop having plastic surgery.

I was truly surprised at the final numbers - I knew Jason was going to win; I just didn't realize by how much! Even if you dispute the space station from Jason X - Team Voorhees still almost reached 200 kills. And sure, you can say Freddy worked all alone, while Team Voorhees consisted of Pam, Alice, Jason, Vic, Roy, and that idiot on the cruise ship in part 8; but nonetheless, it's an impressive win!
Everybody who attended this CMW was a trouper - making it through as many of the movies as they could - but I do have to say - I'm the only one who watched every single one of them beginning to end! Because that's how I roll!


It was a hell of a weekend - starting off with that incredible recorded introduction - my neverending thanks to Adrienne King for providing it - and I hope we can do it again sometime!


Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Secret Origins: Crazy Movie Weekends!

A quick history of the legendary Crazy Movie Weekend:

Labor Day weekend 2011 my nephew James and I decided to finally try an idea I'd had for several months - while our wives were off with others in the family prepping and painting a nursery that would be occupied in a few months - James joined me for the weekend, and we planned to cram as many movies as humanly possible in before Sunday afternoon. (I had to work Monday. Boo hiss.) We went without a theme to the movies - so it was

 Crazy Movie Weekend: Random a Go Go!

We ended up with 14 films watched - starting with Andy Sidaris's Seven (1979) and ending with Hobo with a Shotgun. My pal Ray dropped in for a few of the flicks on Saturday. We also ventured out to the theater for a double feature of Apollo 18 and Shark Night 3-D Saturday afternoon. That they were both "meh" is beside the point.

Here's a couple of shots taken right off my TV screen that weekend:

Heather Thomas breaks the news to Willie Aames that she used a body double in Zapped!

Rutger Hauer is...Hobo with a Shotgun!

We had a great time - and James still calls Hobo with a Shotgun the highest point of all of the Crazy Movie Weekends.







October 28th-30th 2011 -

 Crazy Movie Weekend - Halloween Horrorfest!

We started with Halloween (1978) Friday night and went through to Night of the Living Dead hosted by Elvira on Sunday afternoon - 13 movies in all - a very appropriate number! Lots of guests in and out for this one - the biggest attendance was seven people Saturday night for Zombie Strippers, Blood Feast, Frozen, and Human Centipede 2.

A Halloween-y pizza snack courtesy Papa Murphy's Take-n-Bake.

Blood Feast - the infamous tongue scene.

While Team Movie kept a running bodycount for the weekend, Team Fun (as they called themselves)
worked on some special jack'o'lanterns. It all came together for this final shot.

December 30th 2011 - January 1st 2012 -

Crazy Movie Weekend: Superheroes!

For this one we started with Superman (1978) and ended Sunday night with J-Men Forever! 17 movies - including a full 12 chapter serial - The Adventures of Captain Marvel! Lots of guests popping in and out too!

Superman straight arms a helicopter in one of my favorite moments from Superman (1978).

Captain Marvel takes flight in the 1949 serial.

We stuck in a 3 parter from the TV show as an ersatz Batman movie.

We got animated at one point - here's The Spectre.

We seemed a little DC centric, but here's Full Moon's Dr. Strange ripoff Dr. Mordrid.

And the two Captain America TV movies got us more Marvel love.

These were all a blast, and as 2012 got underway - my movie partners in crime and I started planning the biggest Crazy Movie Weekend yet - one that would take place across the four day Memorial Day weekend - and pack in more movies than any of the previous CMWs. Did we succeed? Well, let's put it this way - that weekend did occur, and there was enough wackiness going on to rate a separate post! Come back tomorrow for all the hijinx!



Until then, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Maniacal Movie Poster Monday #71!

Theme week! I hope figuring out what it is doesn't leave you a basket case...



Basket Case  (Rugged Films Inc, 1982)

This was the first movie I ever purchased! Thanks to the genius of director Frank Henenlotter - who convinced Media Home Entertainment to put this movie out at the cost of $20- at a time when VHS movies were routinely retail priced at around $80 or $100! He told me they moved thousands of copies and kind of started the whole 'sell-through' home video craze that's still going on! And even better news on that purchase - since I was working in a video store at the time - I got mine at cost - $15! It was awesome! I still have that VHS somewhere - though it must be on a back shelf in the video vault as I've not layed eyes on it in years.

Basket Case 2  (Shapiro Glickenhaus Entertainment, 1990)

In the late 80's home video was at its peak - and movies that you never would have believed would ever have a sequel - got a sequel. Or two. Or seven. Shapiro Glickenhaus Entertainment fronted the money for two sequels from director Frank Henenlotter, who brought even more of a sense of the absurd to the second and third films. I can't say I love this poster much - it's such a retread of the first movie's - but at that time distributors wanted to do everything possible to make sure you knew this was a sequel to that other movie you loved - right down to recreating the poster so the two would look so good and complimentary next to each other on the video shelves.





Basket Case 3  (Shapiro Glickenhaus Entertainment, 1992)

Now that's more like it! A brand new poster design, and it's pretty cool to boot! By the third film in the series, Frank Henelotter brought in former Fangoria magazine editor Robert "Uncle Bob" Martin to co-write - and the movie is the wildest yet.



If you'd like to know a bit more about Uncle Bob's involvement in these movies - here is a link to a post with an exclusive interview with the man himself!




The saga of Duane and Belial ended with part 3 - unless Frank Henenlotter decides to do a part 4 sometime!

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Project Terrible: Dreamland!



Hey, I just poured my blood sweat and tears into making a movie,
who should I get to give me a review blurb? Oh, I know, how about
a convicted child molester!

At this point, not letting Buddha Man finish out the quartet would just perturb my ADD. So take it away, you little golden devil!

Dreamland  (Allumination Filmworks, 2007) After a cryptic opening set in 1973 that provided one small neat moment when a creepy clown knick knack turned its eyes to follow a man walking across the room - we move to the modern day and meet Meghan (Jackie Kreisler) and Dylan (Shane Elliott) while they pass the evening in their little trailer during a storm. Soon after they are driving through the Nevada desert to visit her foster parents, and Meghan thinks she sees a little girl alone out in the desert. They stop at an alien themed structure that at times seems to be a diner and at times seems to be a bar - in any case, the little joint is trying to cash in on its proximity to Area 51. Meghan and Dylan meet up with bartender Blake (Jonathan Breck - usually shlepping gallons of latex as The Creeper for child molesting douchebag Victor Salva in the Jeepers Creepers movies), who tells the couple stories about UFOs and his sister, missing for years. Of course, he believes she was abducted by aliens. Hmmm....where have I heard that one before?

Make up your own joke caption. Something with "eyes" in it, like "Looks like the eyes have it!" Go on.
I'm tired of talking about this movie, and we've still got half a review to go!

The couple take off from the diner but they run into weirdness out in the desert darkness and end up returning. In the meantime, the worst Men in Black in film history show up at the diner - wearing the black pants, white shirts, black ties, and sunglasses, but completely missing the black jackets, meaning they instead look more like bored accountants out horsing around instead of sinister government agents. They are also accompanied by a brassy "comedy" jazz theme that was sound mixed 400 times louder than the loudest dialogue in the movie, forcing me to turn my TV volume from 18 to 2 as I was watching late at night with guests in the house - and it was still too loud. It also lingered into the next scene while fading out for about three minutes. If I hadn't already been mind numbed by the twaddle of this incoherently useless X Files wannabe - this moronic music choice and mix by director James Lay would have put the final nail in this cinematic coffin. I could have cheerfully throttled him for pretty much the rest of the movie - never mind the apparitions outside - or the carjacking Hitler (?!?)
    Lastly, if you can't see the ending coming about halfway through the brief but interminable 77 minutes of its running time - get a new hobby. Skip this one with all your might.



This was by far the most terrible of the movies assigned to me for this round, so I give the PT Prize for hurting me to Wolf Ninja over at Gaming Creatively. Well played, sir.




Thank you for handling these four reviews, Buddha me lad.


And that completes my assignment for Round Six of Project Terrible. Let's see if an invite to Round Seven is forthcoming - in the meantime, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Saturday Night at the Movies 6/2/12!

Who cares what picture we see?

Gabrielle Ferzetti does for sure - so it's another leap onto the Bond Wagon for this one...

In my initial run of tracking down all of the James Bond movies after becoming a fan - first with any airings on the ABC network - home of 007 throughout the 70's and early 80's - then with rentals of the movies on Beta and VHS - On Her Majesty's Secret Service (OHMSS) remained the hardest to find. ABC had initially aired it in two parts - due to it being 35 minutes longer than the shortest Bond movie - and they really altered the original movie doing so - they padded the 140 minute movie to 200 minutes to fill two nights (100 minutes plus 20 minutes of commercials each night - can you imagine? We have almost 20 minutes of commercials per half hour now!) This version starts with the escape from Blofeld's lair late in the movie - and as an unconvincing soundalike narrates - Bond thinks back on how this all started - which then takes the viewer back to the actual opening of the movie.  As a result of this bizarre re-edit, ABC didn't go around showing OHMSS much (if at all).



In fact, let's start some extras with a couple of rare clips of the ABC TV edit - which someone has thoughtfully posted on YouTube. The two clips run about 18 minutes altogether - I'm not suggesting you watch the whole of both - if you have time, by all means check 'em out - but even if you don't have that much time to spare - you can get a taste of this televised assault on the poor movie...and see how poor all these 2.35:1 movies looked in full frame - the shenanigans start right after the gun barrel opening...

Those videos disappeared - but I'll leave that up there as historical record - instead here are two ABC openings when they aired the movie - the first from 1976 in two parts, the other from 1982 complete in one evening:

Meanwhile, back in the day - I had no luck seeing the movie on TV, and then it was hard to find on tape, because it starred "that other guy."


I finally found it - and I loved it - of course - although I found Lazenby a little lacking back then - I've grown rather fond of him since, and really would have liked to see how he would have grown into the role if he'd continued it into the 70's...



Let's throw in a couple more extras, as we often do with these 007 movie posts. Suppose Sean Connery hadn't left the series (for the first time) after You Only Live Twice in 1967, or suppose the filmmakers had done OHMSS instead of You Only Live Twice in 1967 - with a different Bond girl and villain - the poster might have looked like this:

Yul Brynner would have made an interesting Blofeld...






Here's a more modern version of the trailer - I always enjoy these -

 

And that will do it - a long post for what was the longest Bond film of all - until that title was taken by Casino Royale in 2006.


The movie resides in the video vault on a fine DVD - the Blu-Ray is coming in September....and we could be spinning that DVD as soon as tonight if you want to join me for some 007 fun!


Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!