Thursday, August 16, 2012

Project Terrible: Alligator X!

Wrapping up this seventh round of Project Terrible for LGOOH I tackle the assignment from Michelle over at the splendid The Girl Who Loves Horror. Little teaser: CGI ensues...

In the bayous and swamps of Louisiana Laura Le Crois (Elena Lyons) has come home after several years to search for her missing father who runs a boat rental and swamp tour service. She quickly runs into her old flame,
While I prefer my Munros to be Caroline, Lochlyn is the
next best choice...

Sheriff Tim Richards (Lochlyn Munro), but the reunion does not go all that well as the lawman has a growing list of missing persons to deal with. Laura also runs into her ex-husband Dr. Charles LeBlanc (Mark Sheppard), now doing scientific research in the area. A young couple named Matt (Gabe Begneaud) and Mandy (Lacey Minchew) hire Laura to take them on a romantic tour of the swamp, which Laura reluctantly agrees to because her father could use the money. Out in the swamp waters the boat is attacked by a mammoth prehistoric crocklegator. The trio makes it to dry land but then they run afoul of redneck brothers Barry and Larry Boudreaux (Ricky Wayne and Scott L. Schwartz), both two bit criminals who seem to know more about that big beastie than they initially let on. While the Sheriff tries to get a handle on the mysterious doings in his swamp with the help of his deputy brother, Laura and the young lovers are taken prisoner and soon in mortal danger on land (the Boudreaux boys) and the water (the crocklegatorsaurus) and they haven’t even met the secretive Big Villain yet. I wonder who it could be?

"We didn't land on Skull Island! Skull Island landed on US!"

Well, I’ve seen worse movies. And, I’ve seen better movies. This one shapes up so middle of the road it’s a little numbing. The actors act (and in some cases overact) tolerably well, with Munro and Sheppard standing out. The effects are standard issue Syuh-Fyuh channel type CGI – phony looking monster leaping about and causing far too little water to be displaced when it comes down – but the design is nice. The worst offender here is the script, which is extremely humdrum and by the numbers. It’s also – SPOILER ALERT – weirdly similar to Shark Night 3-D – with two backwoods bumpkins feeding people to the carnivorous critters in the local waters and the whole thing masterminded by a secret bad guy. Of course, this movie came first – and if the Shark Night writers were “inspired” by this one I can only say – “Really? THIS is the script you decide to rip off for your CGI sharkfest?”

Mark Sheppard gauges her seriousness with that shotgun at about 12, as in 12 gauge shotgun...

In the end, I can’t call this one terrible – it’s just good enough to escape that appellation. But it’s not good enough to make it into the Project Good Movie blogfest either. It would fit best, I think, in
Project Mediocre.

Thanks for the invite to this wonderful round of bad movie assigning and thanks to everyone who participated!

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!  


  1. meh, another average SyFy lamefest. I can't stand these awful CGI effects anymore.

    1. Man, you pegged it. Meh is the word for this one every day and twice on Sunday.

  2. How can I follow this movie if I missed 'Alligator 1-9?!?!?'

    Thanks, I've been holding that joke in for weeks. Any longer and I must have burst like that guy from 'The Meaning of Life.'

    That said, I can take that movie out of my Queue now. It looks pretty silly and pointless.

  3. I can't stand CGI f/x in horror. It really looks lame. Me, it's gotta be old school fake blood, etc. Lochlyn Munroe always plays a douche. I can never stand his characters in any movie.

    1. Well, it's become a necessary evil, mostly. And when it is done well - ie, the storm in Nailbiter - which has found a distributor, by the way - it can be very effective. But usually it is putting big goofy looking critters through their paces in low budget movies.

      I have enjoyed ol' Lochy in a few things - he does make a good douche - like his sympathetic character in Freddy vs Jason - and he's okay here - I enjoy a familar face like his over a generic non-actor like you often get in movies made at this budgetary level...